Impostor Syndrome
“If they only knew.”
Those are the words that bounce around your mind daily.
If your co-workers knew what you were really like, they probably wouldn’t invite you to happy hour and sing your praises.
When you’re at work, sometimes you feel like you really don’t know what you’re doing. There’s a part of you that wonders if someone will rush into the room, call you a fraud, and stop you from making a colossal mistake.
Or worse, what if no one rushes into the room, and you make a mistake that you can’t recover. Logically you know that lots of people feel this way, but deep down, you think that you’re really right about yourself when you think you’re a fraud.
If your romantic partner really knew you, they’d probably be less interested and stop putting up with you.
When they look at you, they see someone successful, kind, and loving. You don’t always feel that way inside. Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, but you usually try to hide it from your partner, so they don’t have to deal with it.
Sometimes you feel selfish and mean. Your partner and everyone who knows you say that’s ridiculous. Yet, you still feel inside like there’s not much to love.
If your friends really knew you, would they even be your friends?
You ask yourself, “What do I even have to offer my friends?” Sure, you can list off some vanilla answers like being nice and a dependable friend. You still can’t shake the feeling that you need your friends more than they need you.
When you look in the mirror every morning, you sometimes wonder if you would be friends with yourself. In that reflection, you see all your flaws highlighted and wonder when your friends will see what you do.
In the light of day, you know that it’s illogical. But…
As the day wears on, it’s harder to fight off those demons. It’s as if everyone else starts the day with a perfect score, but you have to work your way from zero every morning.
You look at the people around you, and you’re envious that they don’t always have to fight with that shrill, critical, relentless voice.
Those thoughts have been there for as long as you can remember – even back to your childhood. You envy those who don’t have to struggle with it.
What’s more, it keeps you on the outside of every group and social circle because, deep down, you keep questioning whether you belong.
You may not even know there’s a name for what you’ve been experiencing. But there is a name for it, and there’s help for those who are burdened with “impostor syndrome.”
Let us guide you away from that inner critic and persistent doubt.
At Dallas Psychotherapy, we love working with impostor syndrome because we know what it’s like to have accomplished so much but having nagging doubts in the dark corners of your mind.
We’ll help you recognize that voice as distinct from your own.
One of the most significant challenges in overcoming impostor syndrome is that insistent voice demands you believe all the hurtful things it says. When it feels like your voice and the inner critic’s voice are the same, it makes things incredibly difficult to manage.
Drawing on techniques from Narrative Therapy and third-generation cognitive approaches, we help you distinguish that voice from your own so that you can begin to disagree and argue with the voice, and sometimes even successfully ignore it.
You’ll also learn how to pull the plug on those familiar ways of treating yourself.
We help nurture your sense of self-compassion. We draw from the philosophy of compassion-focused therapy, which delineates three different selves in each of us.
The Drive Self helps us move toward goals and achievements, which you’re probably intimately familiar with, though sometimes you convince yourself you need more drive.
The Threat Self, which helps evaluate dangers both physiological and psychological, might even be in overdrive.
However, it is the third self, the Compassionate Self, that needs nurturing. We help you give yourself a break.
You’ll learn that your imperfect self is not only “okay,” but more than okay. We help you accomplish this through behavioral experiments, self-dialogue, and logical analysis.
Then you’ll find a new voice that is both powerful and kind.
Whatever you do, don’t think about a green frog playing the banjo. What are you thinking about right now? If we tell our brains not to think about something, there is an insatiable pull to think of that very thing.
It’s not enough to train yourself to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself and assuming that will fix things. You must replace thoughts rather than trying to extinguish them. As therapists, we’ll call attention to times when you’re less than charitable with yourself and provide practical experience in being kind to yourself.
It’s time to move on from feeling like an imposter…
… and summon the power to lean into your authentic life.
That impostor syndrome didn’t just pop up overnight. It’s probably been hurting you for a long time, whispering hurtful words into your ears at the most inopportune times.
Before reading this website, you may not have even had words for the experience.
The good news is, this doesn’t have to be a way of life or your future.
Call now and let’s schedule your free 15-minute consultation: (469) 225-0344.